Yes, I owe someone a post today. Macam selalu, woke her up at 4.30 for our normal ibadah routine - alhamdulillah. She doesn't talk much. Left her to do her own things. It was a gloomy morning with deadly silence. Literally dead silence! Fatso pun takut nak dekat. Tengok dari jauh je. She came down 6.20 am. I knew she cried. Semalam kata she cannot cry because that would make him sad. Pagi ni lain lah pulak. I am speechless. Nak bagi ceramah free pun dah tak larat. Lagipun timing tak betul. It would spoil the day for us. Maybe I should do it later tonight, tengok mood both of us. Nak kena construct a proper text in mind so I do not say the wrong things. Banyak on my mind sebenarnya. During my times those days, I do not remember missing someone that bad, or maybe I did. Ya, maybe I did. Cuma, I had to manage my own feelings in my own way sebab I cannot talk to anyone at home. Nak cakap dengan mak, ayah? Memang drama jadinya nanti! Tak berani aku. Adik, you are lucky - I am always here for you - at all times. I know it is hard to say goodbye - but always remember, it is not the end - it is just a way of saying you'll miss each other and treasure each other more. Think of the best times, you'll feel better. Macam ni lah adik, zikir banyak-banyak and baca quran - ingat Allah. Mummy dah cakap - minta dari Allah yang terbaik. You know what I meant, right? Memang perasaan seorang mak agaknya - bila anak-anak ada masaalah, bila anak-anak susah hati, bila sakit, bila sedih - kita pun turut rasa the same pain.
Sampai kat office pun lewat pagi ni. Tak tau pasai apa. Rushing to finish off June remuneration pack, ingat nak submit pagi ni. Tapi sampai sekarang tak siap lagi. Aku dah jadi macam buntu pulak. Ada berpuluh2 e-mail yang marked unread dalam mailbox aku. Semua tu perlukan actions to be taken, rasanya kena finish off by today kot. Penin, penin....
Plan to leave early today, tapi adik kata, she'll be going to some friend's house to prepare for the cooking competition this Saturday and so she will not be home till after 6 maybe. If that's the case, aku tunggu lepas maghrib saja lah baru balik. At least I can finish off my work. Talking about the cooking competition, she and another friend were chosen to represent their school. Macam2 dia nih. Seingat aku, semua activities yang dia involve, aku pun jadi penat sebab indirectly aku kena involve and ada yang directly juga. Oppps...sebab dia anak aku, so no regrets... Walau penat, glad I was able to be there for her all these while.
Dah, dah, get back to work...
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| Those days.... |
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| those carefree days.... |
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| how time flies.... |
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| learning the beautiful things in life.... |
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