Emotional .....

Wonder how my mornings and my days would be without them... The flurry of activities since very early morning till the time we left the house.  The laughs, the stories for the day before we retire for the night.  Haishh.. takut aku nak fikir.  Bad enough abang is no longer together as he is now staying with my in-laws.  Walaupun I see him everyday and he calls everyday, tapi the feeling  is different.  I miss him around the house.  But this is one of the feelings I had to let go.  Reason is datuk and nenny alone saja kat rumah, kesian dia orang...sunyi.  And soon aku pun akan jadi macam tu...  Scary nya..  Dulu-dulu bila fikir letihnya nak manage anak-anak masa dia orang kecil, I used to say someday when they are grown - I don't have to do this, do that anymore.  Aku boleh relax, boleh have a time which I can call my own.  Just to calm down my tired mind and body. 

Now it is no longer this SOMEDAY I am looking forward - I sometimes wish they are  still the babies I cradled, I cuddled every night.  They are still the kids making lots of noises around the house, the kids making messes out of all the things they touched, the kids who listened attentively to the 'weird' bedtime stories which I usually made up before they go to sleep, the kids who laughed with me and the kids who dry my tears in my times of sadness.  I do not like this SOMEDAY anymore ... I will  be looking back and finding the YESTERDAY... and missing it.  And wishing this SOMEDAY never come and YESTERDAY never left....  

"Cherishing the yesterdays, living for today and dreaming for tomorrows" 

Note:   It was abang's 24th birthday yesterday.  Happy birthday my dearest.  May you be blessed with happiness and success, dunia dan akhirat.  And a big thank you for being the best.  I love you very much.... Hope you like the birthday gift.